Staying safe

Sex

If you choose to engage in sexual activity during Schoolies, it’s important:

  • for you to decide if you want to have sex—if it doesn’t feel right, you can always say no (and at any time)
  • that you both consent to the sexual activity
  • that you have safe sex every time.

Sexual consent is pretty straightforward. It is when both people say YES and willingly agree to engage in a specific sexual activity.

Sexual consent can be withdrawn at any time. If your partner says NO, that means STOP, immediately!

Sexual consent is also not transferable—to a different sexual activity, different day, or different person.

It is important that you ask for consent before engaging in, and continuously during sex.

Consent:

  • must be voluntary and given freely and willingly, without fear, force, or intimidation
  • must be given actively and enthusiastically by both parties
  • is NOT silent. Never assume you have consent—you should always clarify by asking
  • must be ongoing and continuous. You or your partner are allowed to change your mind at any stage of a sexual encounter
  • must be clear and concise. Agreeing to going back to someone’s place does not mean they’re consenting to sexual activity
  • is not assumed simply because you have had sex with your partner before
  • can’t be given if someone is drunk, under the influence of drugs, asleep, unconscious, or semi-conscious
  • is not automatic just because you are in a relationship—including new relationships formed at Schoolies. Only YES means YES
  • is not someone eventually saying yes after repeatedly being pressured to engage in a sexual act—even if they are your boyfriend or girlfriend.
Watch

Only one in three Canadians fully understand what consent is so Western, let's talk about it. Let's think about consent like a bike ride.
If you wanted to go on a bike ride with someone you'd say "Hey I'd like to go on a bike ride with you" and they'd be like "Yey I'd like to go on a bike ride with you!". Boom! Put on your helmet kid, you're going on a bike ride. You might hear things like "This feels great" or "Keep going".
These are ways you know they're enjoying the bike ride. "I'm sweaty". "I' tired". Uh maybe not those ones. If they said no, then that's that.
They do not want to go on a bike ride with you. Don't toss them up on a bike and say "Oh come on it'll be fun".
No is no.  And if they don't say anything at all, it's still a no.
The absence of a yes is a no. They could say "Heck yeah" or "Eh I might want to" and you put on your biker shorts, get the bike, grab the helmets and in that time, they decided that they don't want to and start to backpedal.
And that's okay.  They aren't obligated to go on that bike ride.
You'll just have to bike on your own.
Oh, and being dressed in bike shorts and a helmet doesn't automatically mean someone wants to ride a bike.
It's quite presumptuous to think they do. Even if you happen to be in a relationship with your bike partner, you have to ask each and every time.
Say your bike partner has had a couple of drinks (and we're not talking about water), they're not ready to go for a bike ride even if they've told you they are.  A drunk yes is not a sober yes.
And by law you need a sober yes.
Oh, and just because you bought them drinks all night it does not entitle you to a bike ride with them. Same rules apply if they're unconscious.
Unconscious people can't ride bikes, and they definitely can't say yes to doing so.
The number one priority is to make sure they're safe.
Even if they're just sleeping, they can't say yes to a bike ride, and it can be a scary thing to wake up and find yourself on a bike. Imagine your boss telling someone you can only work here if you bike with me to work.
That's crossing the line.
It would be an abuse of power for a boss or a person of influence to suggest such a thing. And just because someone wanted to go for a bike ride once doesn't mean they'll want to every time.
Maybe it was just a one bike stand.
You can't say "What are you talking about, we biked last night".
You're simply not entitled to another bike ride if they don't want to. Maybe your fellow cyclist is totally cool with biking on paved roads.
That does not mean that they are up for extreme mountain biking.
You're not going to insist that they go speeding down a mountain with you if they are only interested in paved roads.
That's uncomfortable territory and you don't want to pressure your bike partner, do you? What if Alex here told you that Taylor really wants to ride bikes with you.
Does that mean you throw Taylor up on a bike and say "All right, let's start pedalling"? No.
The only person that could say Taylor wants to go for a bike ride is Taylor. When all is said and done, riding a bike with someone should be fun, memorable, and hey, maybe a bit sweaty.
But it can only be that way when everyone involved has willingly agreed to participate. So, whether it's having sex or bike riding—consent is key

It’s important to keep communicating and checking in on whether you are both feeling comfortable with what is happening.

How you can stay safe

Safe sex is having sexual contact while protecting yourself and your sexual partner against sexually transmissible infections (STIs) and unplanned pregnancy. When it comes to safe sex, when used correctly, condoms offer the best protection against STIs and pregnancy.

If you choose to have sex at Schoolies:

  • Always use condoms. They offer the best protection against sexually transmissible infections (STIs) and unplanned pregnancy. Know that our Safer Schoolies Volunteers will always be carrying some if you’re ever in need.
  • Don’t think you can tell if someone has an STI just by looking at them. Most STIs don’t have any obvious signs.
  • Before having sex, talk about using condoms with your partner and come to an agreement about using condoms. Remember, you have the right to say NO if your partner does not agree to use condoms.
  • If you are having unprotected sex, talk to your partner about the risks involved. Your decision about safe sex is important—some STIs can be cured but some can’t (e.g. herpes), and you may not experience any initial symptoms.
  • Be aware that drugs and alcohol may affect your ability to make good decisions. Protect yourself from having sex that you might regret or were pressured into because you weren’t thinking properly.

Safe sex is also about having sex when you and your partner are ready, consensual, and having sex that’s enjoyable, respectful, and protected.

Understanding sexual assault

Sexual assault is any unwanted sexual, physical, verbal, or visual behaviour that makes a person feel uncomfortable, frightened, or forces them to have sexual contact against their will.

There are different forms of sexual assault including:

  • unwanted fondling or touching above or under clothing
  • rape
  • harassment
  • exposing or flashing without consent
  • forcing someone to pose for sexual pictures or videos
  • molestation
  • incest
  • sharing naked photos without consent (even if they were given to you with consent).

Sexual assault is never your fault. Sexual assault is a crime.

What to do if you have been sexually assaulted?

If you have been sexually assaulted, know that you’re not alone and that you shouldn’t feel ashamed or to blame as what has happened to you isn’t your fault.

The first thing you should do is go somewhere you feel safe such as the home of a friend or family member or even to your nearest hospital emergency department. Then if you feel that you can, you should consider telling someone you trust what has occurred.

At Schoolies, call Triple Zero (000) and ask for the Ambulance Service, or talk to one of our Safer Schoolies volunteers and they will help you speak to an ambulance officer.

Where to get support:

Last updated:
2 June 2025