Friendships and expectations

School leavers always mention ‘spending time with their friends’ as their favourite thing about Schoolies.

A way to value your friendships is to make sure you’re communicating with each other in the lead up to – and during – Schoolies celebrations.

Make sure you’ve:

• chatted about each other’s expectations
• agree on some ground rules before you arrive
• covered off your plans for the week.

Expectations

You’ve been looking forward to Schoolies all year and you’re sure it’s going to be the best week of your life.

Sometimes though, when you’ve been looking forward to something for a long time, expectations can be too high and you may end up disappointed.

Friends first

Finishing school is a big deal and it's immediately followed by the excitement of Schoolies.

We've all heard about friends who have had a bust-up at Schoolies; make sure you stay friends by following these easy tips:

• agree on the ground rules with your friends before you arrive and discuss
  • what behaviour you will and won't tolerate
  • strategies for safety
  • your plans for the week
• try to talk to them about what's worrying you if you're concerned about a friend's choices or behaviour; It's never a good idea to talk about them behind their back
• remember these are your friends if tension starts to build; they've shared important parts of your life, so give them some space.

Managing conflict

Try to resolve conflict by talking it over when you're both calm, sober and able to focus on the problem. You could:

• tell your friend how you feel without blaming or accusing them.
• allow your friend to tell their side of the story. Listen and try to understand their point of view without interrupting them.

Violence is never acceptable. A fight at Schoolies could ruin a long-term friendship, so stay calm and go for a walk to cool down if you feel like things could get out of hand.

No matter what happens, make sure you and your friends are safe at all times. Even if you're arguing, you'll be safer together than going off on your own.

Peer group pressure

A couple of little tips to have in your back pocket if your friends are pressuring you to do something you don’t want to do during Schoolies include:

• talk to your friends before you're there about your expectations for the week
• put some plans in place for the next day and communicate you don't want them ruined
• use your parents as an excuse
• move away from the situation
• use humour to deflect the pressure
• real friends should be respectful that everyone has different ideas on how they wish to celebrate.

Always stay true to yourself. Stick to your choices and what's right for you.

Feeling homesick

Schoolies may be the first time you‘ve been away from home. It’s also often a time of significant change and uncertainty.

All of these feelings, combined with exhaustion after partying for a few days, may have you longing for your own bed and a familiar face. It's okay to feel this way and it is okay to go home early.

Tips to cope with being homesick include:

• setting a regular time to call home; not only will this keep the parentals happy but will also provide you with something to look forward to every day
• having a night off partying with your mates; a good night’s sleep coupled with a good meal can often be the best medicine
• staying active and busy; visit the beach, theme parks, or shopping centres during the day
• seeing if someone from home can drop off a home cooked meal, or even pop home for one.

You don’t have to stay – you can go home at any time.